DO YOU EVEN CLICK, BRO???
Can I take a moment and point out that, when I work out, I have noticed that my right hand is a bit weaker than my left hand, which is weird, because I’m right-handed, but I can clearly state that just by completing this game, I bet the scales have tipped off in my right hand’s favor … like seriously.
Chicken Assassin – Master of Humiliation (hmm, how do I call this for short?), sorry guys but I couldn’t take this game seriously just by reading its title, I suppose it was not meant to be taken so and thus the more I kept playing, the more it proved it to me. This game is ridiculous and not once or twice or 100 times has it made me facepalm, but in its retardedness lies its charm, just like a really dumb-looking pokemon, which you cannot help yourself but feel sorry for, hence why you like it … because reasons. Nevertheless, I liked the game. It’s not much, I’d say it’s something you tackle on the side, while you’re resting from the main game you’re playing (for me it was usually before I go to bed), but nonetheless the game took longer to complete than it should have. You might ask why that is? Well, at first I thought that Chicken Assassin was a fighter game and that I would be mashing keyboard buttons, but little did I know, hence the following realization 5 to 10 minutes into my first session, I understood that it was, in fact, a clicking game (explains the clicks counter). That’s right, folks, in terms of gameplay, the only thing you do is … well, click the mouse button.
The game is not very long, I’d say I spent about 4 to 6 hours tops on it, all combined, but the sessions were spread out not more than 30 mins per day, because damn, my finger … eff that, my whole hand, wanted to cry afterwards. Maybe it’s due to the fact that I’m not used to playing clicking games so much (or ones of such intensity), nor do I enjoy them, but overall it is, what it is. Chicken Assassin served as a great way to just let go and play something light, not really paying attention to anything. I did, though, and oh, was I surprised when I found out the game has a story. The main character is a … chicken and basically he falls for a girl named Candy, who gets abducted by … God, I forgot his name, but I think our protagonist is Mcallister, so off we go to save her … did I get it right guys? Well, the story caught me by surprise and I didn’t really understand what was going on until, like mission 3 or 4 and the story was telling me names, making me wonder who am I, what is who and who is what. But, oh well, I was more amazed at the ridiculous places and the hardship I had to endure for a fricking sl… sorry … for Candy. I really liked how at the beginning of each mission the game tells you a bit of the story and what’s happening in the level and I also like the different culture references, which are awesome. By the time I reached like mid-game, I was no longer surprised by the crazy stuff Chicken Assassin was throwing at me … BUT I LOVED IT. Maybe because I’m crazy myself, is why I enjoyed the craziness of this game. Oh, and I loved all the sarcasm and humor chucked in there … hilarious!
I have to admit, I did judge it a bit roughly at the beginning, but it grew on me and, not only addicted, I quite much started fancying it. Maybe I was skeptical, because it was a clicker game, but I have to say, it turned out quite good.
I like that the game doesn’t go out of its way to explain jack sh*t to the player, it just starts and you’re off on your own to figure stuff out. Not that it’s hard but as a person who doesn’t like to do tutorials and just rushes straight into it, this was a refreshing start. Basically, as I said, Chicken Assassin is a clicker game with action and RPG elements. It features progression and I love that, because I hate games, which do not progress in any way (yes, I like my game, character, whatever to progress in order to get a sense of accomplishment). There is no main menu, or rather than the main menu is kind of the in-game main screen too. It starts, then you click something to begin and off you go.
My God, this game is beautiful. I love the art style and colors and … everything. It was enchanting. The art is so pleasant to look at and I was actually surprised how smooth it ran … almost too smooth. I’m happy there were no graphical glitches and the FPS lock only did it good. In the main screen, everything is stylized in easy categories and once you explore, you know what you’re doing. You start off with the battle menu, where all of your missions are, upgrade menu (where you upgrade your chicken and resource gathering), inventory, roster tales (basically achievements) and a wardrobe menu (where all the cool costumes are stored, when you unlock them). The game features a great amount of different updates to choose from and you even get a little robot pet which fights with you (I named mine Muffin … yes, you can name them!) Also there are a lot of different fancy costumes (there is a Pewds head … Pewds, haha, I laughed so hard!) and item variety (weapons and junk items to sell), that you never really get bored of them. A lot of weird combinations happened though and it was funny, when I ended up slapping mermaids and octopuses with tentacles … yeah, I know where that was going. Also, I know that shotguns do splash damage and kill stuff faster (hence reducing the clicking), but contrary to popular belief, I preferred single-target weapons.
In the middle of the room you find your character and a cauldron, filled with blue energy, which you basically punch the hell out off to get souls. Souls are the game’s main resource, which you’re gonna spend a hell of a lot time grinding. I actually kind of cheated a bit (if this is considered a cheat), but because I was playing the game at work a couple of times and when I actually had to do work and forgot to turn it off the first time, the little blue energy people and bats, who gather souls passively for you (which you unlock with upgrades) gathered a sh*t ton of souls for me … and the rest of the time I left it running on purpose. But who can blame me, since at higher levels the upgrades require an insane amount of souls to purchase and sorry but I ain’t gonna sacrifice my finger muscle just to grind those as well. Beside souls the other thing, which you will spend a lot of time grinding is experience. Every mission is ranged by 10 (for example mission 1 is for chickens leveled 1-10, mission 2 is 10-20, etc). I don’t know why, but I was able to complete missions quite early on (for example mission 7 I complete at level 72-3-4) and then the rest of the levels up until level 80 I had to grind on the new mission, because enemies were effin me so badly. Am I doing it wrong?
I actually want to take the time and guide you through a regular mission. Basically it’s constructed in waves of enemies (2 to 4 per wave) where you have to click on them multiple times in order to defeat them and every 10th wave is a boss wave. The main character is positioned at the center of the screen and he doesn’t move. LET THE CLICKING BEGIN!!! Missions at the beginning start at 20 waves cap, and as the game progresses the cap goes up to 30 and 40. Once you finish the final wave, the mission ends and you can choose whether to repeat the mission or go back to the menu. Anyway, before moving on, I like to say that my favorite level is 7, where you go back to when Mcallister was a little chicken just hatching and you actually get to play with a little egg, with hands and feet and eyes coming out and it’s just the cutest thing ever (#cute).
I want to complain a bit now, because if I don’t complain in a game review, it wouldn’t be me. Two things (majorly): soul collection and upgrades. You collect souls by either punching the energy cauldron in the menu or by killing enemies in missions (which drop souls). Yeah, all is good, however I found that I don’t really have time to collect the souls of the dead enemies from the ground, because the level is so dynamic, that if you stop clicking, you actually risk dying. I have no idea if you lose them, if you do not gather them (I really had no problem with souls grinding), but I found out that I never really stopped to collect them, with the exception of pre-boss battles and trust me the update for soul gathering didn’t do jack sh*t for me. The other thing was some upgrades, I didn’t even know what they do or how they affect me, because I didn’t really feel any benefits from them. An example is the 3 monkeys update, which are supposed to help me gather resources every time I work … wut? I’m confused. Some other updates have a bit of unclear explanations, so maybe dumb them down a bit (explain better).
The other issue I had was the black market dealer. No offence, but I felt like he was straight out useless. Basically, he wants an item (a certain amount of an item to be precise) and in return you get souls + an exp boost. However his deals change every 3 minutes or so and basically, unless you save junk items, which he might want, there is no other way to catch a deal (and to be honest, I didn’t really need the bonus souls he was offering, yeah, the exp boost would have been nice, but what can ya do). Same goes for the boss raids, difference is that they are easier to do, because you have to gather a set amount of resources and it never changes. Good thing is, you can actually do this as you progress through the game.
Final issue, I wanna moan about is a technical issue actually. Sometimes I would get this bug, where the health bar of an enemy would disappear and it would become invulnerable and no matter how much I attack it, it can’t die, hence making me restart the level. It did happen to me a few times, it was annoying yes, but not too often.
Finally gonna cover sound. I quite fancied the soundtrack of the game and never really got bored of it. Each mission has its own theme, in order to fit the theme of the mission and it won’t really ever get repetitive, unless you farm a mission one too many times, which I don’t really think is necessary. Beside the awesome soundtrack the game fits any other tunes (I myself used a bit of Monstercat mixes a few times, while playing and it never really took out of the experience). The other thing I loved about sound is the voice overs at the beginning of each mission, which play only the first time you start it. However, the punching sound can get a bit annoying with time, considering how much you will be listening to it, so I ended up muting my sounds most of the time and leaving only the music (watch and learn, Lumo, watch and effin learn!!!1).
Okay, final verdict time. I’m really contemplating what to give this game as a final verdict. I’d give it a 6/10. I know I said quite positive things about it, but overall I wouldn’t rank it that high. Like I said, being a clicker, it does get repetitive pretty fast and also the tons of grinding is definitely not helping the case. Personal opinion here on out: I wouldn’t play it again. There is an option to reset your progress, I definitely wouldn’t, not personally because of this specific game, more because I’m not really a fan of clicker games, but as a one-time thing, it does fair pretty well. Achievements are not overly hard to achieve and I was glad for that. However from an art and sound point of view, Chicken Assassin is amazing and paired up with all the sarcasm and humor, definitely rank goes a bit up. I don’t really consider this a legit story, because it’s as generic as it can get, no matter how I look at it, but I’d say, better to have it in there, than not to at all. All in all a nice one-timer experience, it does get addicting up to the point of completion, but starting it all over again? No, thanks, I value my pointer finger and right hand muscles.