These days, most people would say that dating is so much easier. With social media and dating apps facilitating the dating scene, more and more singles can easily connect with each other. However, when dating a transgender person, it’s all a matter of quality over quantity.
Many transgender people face some stigma when dating. Not everyone is open-minded about dating transgender people. On the bright side, however, there are more people now who are aware and understanding of the challenges transgender people face.
For trans women, the modern world of dating is both a blessing and a curse for several reasons. You need as much support as you can get. Below are some tips for the transgender women out there who need a little guidance.
To disclose or not to disclose?
While honesty is the best policy, you have every right to choose whether or not to disclose the fact that you are transgender, especially when dating.
If you choose to mention in your online dating profile that you are transgender, this helps filter out people who are not interested in dating a transgender woman. While it can limit your dating pool, at least you’re eliminating people you probably don’t ever want to date.
On the flip side, you can also choose not to mention that you are transgender. What this does is allow people to really get to know you as a person without focusing too much on what’s between your legs. It can show potential partners that your personality is much more important than your sex at birth. You have every right to say that you are transgender to a potential partner when you feel comfortable enough to share this with them.
Respecting you vs. fetishizing you
Keep in mind that just because someone is attracted to you, it doesn’t automatically mean that they respect you. There are still some people who see transgender women as sex objects and nothing more. Some men even date transgender women as a public display of how progressive they are. So always be on the lookout for folks who seem much too fixated on the fact that you are transgender.
You have to love yourself enough to know when to ditch potential partners who won’t respect you. This part is tough, but it’s something everyone should work on. As a transgender woman, you may have self-worth, self-esteem and self-image issues. This can cloud your judgment when it comes to finding someone who respects you as a person, especially when you feel like your dating pool is limited.
The minute you feel unsafe with your date, it’s time to bail. Trans women are all too often exposed to prejudice and violence even when they’re not dating. So always have people you trust who can help you out when things go south. It also won’t hurt to learn how to defend yourself from attacks or to know any safe spaces you can go to.
Likewise, if you engage in any sexual encounters, always practice safe sex. HIV is incredibly common in the LGBTQ community, but transwomen are perhaps even more at risk. So make sure you use condoms or firmly tell your partner to use them when you have sex.
Dating as a transgender person can be wonderful and fulfilling, despite being fraught with difficulty sometimes. However, it’s not impossible to find someone who can love and respect you for who you are.