Before we take a leap of faith in the world of geometry and platforming, I just want to dub this game as the dark souls of platformers. As I get tossed around, death after death, to the few checkpoints in the levels as well as its resurrected enemies after each “successful” death. And I know what you’re thinking, “dark souls is easy”… pfft! And this is coming from someone who’s played dark souls for five whole minutes and remembered he has better things to do… like escaping the world of a psychedelic neon world, Veetragoul. SPOILER ALERT! I was not successful to escape it nor to get to half of the content.
Now let’s talk more about the backstory, what happened, why it happened or who the “F” is this guy? First off, we get introduced to a grayscale-themed “cabin in the woods” which I guess should be the main go-to for horror games and what not! But anyway, a lonely guy that happens to live in there or probably the last person that survived the horrible massacre that happened there… got bored, got up and went for a walk. Because that’s what people do when they’re bored… they take walks in the middle of nowhere. Forget about video games, Facebook, Instagram and Netflix, as he didn’t even paid his bills, that’s why he’s on “wood power” and everything is so dark and grayscale-y! BUT! Let’s get back on track. As he was moving along in the woods, he found wood for his fireplace… and of course a floating octahedron that shines like a diamond (meh!). And of course the Curious George as he is, he then picks it up and transforms into a walking, living, octahedron-head guy?! After a few virtual seconds, he then gets transported to this 8-bit era game world or something??? At this point I don’t even care what it is. And in that moment you discover your new power… not “wood power v2.0” but the ability to shit! YES! You read that right! The ability to shit bricks! And of course it does come from his ass because that’s how people do their thing! Well at least most people.
Moving on!!! The gameplay mechanics are pretty straightforward you shit bricks, otherwise known as platforms, it is called a platformer after all! “JUMP! SHIT! JUMP!” in that particular order is how you win the game. But hold on! Who are we fighting anyway? Uhhh?!… Somebody, I guess. I was not good enough to beat it after throwing my controller a few hundred times. AND of course, I blame it on the LAG coz that’s what PRO… (PROblematic) people DO! But if you can’t accept that reason, then I guess let’s just move along and maybe I’ll get some coffee because after a few nights, I honestly need a bucket of it!
The game has a lot of things on its plate, and most of it is not edible. You have your traps, your enemies… more traps then more enemies… and of course platforms! It is… well, you know what it is! Then there’s light bulbs, glowing flowers and mini octahedron heads of which you are fond of… to the point you break any and every light bulb you see in the world, because why not? What you can’t do in the real world, you have to do in the virtual one! And this is a bloody good place to start. You’re basically a psychopath that’s trying to kill anything and everything that moves in the world of Veetragoul.
Each and every area has to be carefully timed, master it and you win, flunk and you die! It’s that kind of scenario! But of course I got the latter because I’m no psychopathic nerd, you psycho!
As you move on and get closer to what seems like forever, because in this life… nothing stay forever 🙁 maybe aside from this one because I feel like it would take a lifetime for me to clear. You obtain new powers, and YES! It’s more platforms but this time they also shit stuffs to massacre enemies from above! Who doesn’t like shitting platforms? NO ONE? Okay, good!
The story itself is pretty good, one of the best ones ever made in a game. MY STORY THAT IS! Apparently, the developers may have forgotten the fact that a guy in a cabin that got transported to a new world is not exactly a story. OR IS IT? But if you really want to know the story, I suggest you grab the next bus to a movie theater, get some tickets and watch how the story unfolds of something completely different than a game about a guy with an octahedron for a head.
The techno music however is okay?! I’m not much of a fan of techno so instead I slapped in my playlist from Babymetal on Spotify and let it spin for the rest of the playthrough and while the game is based on timing with the beat, I didn’t find it difficult at all playing different beats… in fact, I felt more alive as my favorite “kawaii” duo rocks it out as I’m playing. (AND YES! Tiny little voice in my head, I did also try playing with the actual music on but it didn’t matter to me, I still suck!)
All in all, it’s a fairly simple game with mechanics that works well enough as long as you don’t have two left thumbs and trigger fingers because coordination is one of the key aspects to learning this simple yet unique game. While the graphics is kinda good if you’re high as fuck… or just want to think that you are 🙂 but either way, ITS GREAT!!! If there’s really something I am annoyed at, it’s the requirement to time your jumps and brick shitting skills in case you need to do multiple jumps to get to higher places as most of the time, I fall short on the timing making my toon have to redo the whole process of “jump-shit-jump” 🙁 and at times I not only fall short… I even fall to certain death.
And while it is annoying and forces me to rage quit at times, this is unique enough for me to give it a second go or actually my 999th try… once I get a right hand transplant so I will be able to coordinate better!